Part of me wants to break down barriers, set people free and make the world a better place. A bigger part of me wants to sit on the sofa, drink tea and play through old Nintendo games.
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17/10/07 : Shrugging at life
Looking through my old blog I discovered a line that I thought would make a good tagline to this blog (see top). In many ways, it sums me up. Ok, it makes me sound lazy, which I can sometimes be, but there's more to it than that.
I have strong opinions. I have morals. I care about a lot of things - probably more so than most people - but still not enough to take any real action. But unlike most people, I don't pretend to do stuff just to make myself look good. There is of course very little one person can actually do anyway (with most things, I think that governments - who actually have some power - should be doing more, particularly in sorting out big businesses who get away with all kinds of stuff, rather than making individuals feel bad for not "doing their bit").
My main job is physically demanding and I work hard when I'm there, but I'm there for as little time as I can get away with. My boss is there most of the time. At the busiest times he's made himself ill with the stress. He's admitted that, to a degree at least, he missed seeing his kids grow up. He's probably got considerably more money than me, but doesn't have the time to enjoy it. Ok, so he owns a fairly successful company - but so what? It's just a company. It's not something that makes any difference to the world and it's not something that he's going to be remembered for when he's dead. And in order to sell his product, he's got to "care" about stuff which, at the end of the day, is completely trivial. Personally, I think that I'm in the better position.
As for not "doing something with my life" - well, I don't actually know anyone who has done something with their life. I don't know anyone who's done anything to make society a better place. I don't know anyone who's created great works of art for people to enjoy in future centuries. Arselicking your way to the top of some business just so that other people can do it to you isn't my idea of fulfillment.
Shit happens. People screw themselves up worrying about it. I just shrug and think "Oh well". Then have a cup of tea.