Comments on Homeschooling and being a misfit

it's a shame your mother-in-law hasn't got a blog, you could Googlebomb her with Evil Fucked-up Bitch.

James [home] 08.09.2004, 10:18pm

Now that would be a fun activity is she did have a blog! I imagine her views in such a blog would put the writers of the Sun (no, the Mail - she's a homeowner) to shame in the level of sheer right-wing bigotry.

Tim [home] 08.09.2004, 10:35pm

The only thing about homeschooling I would be seriously concerned with would be the social aspect. What steps do you take to ensure your daughter has the oppotunity to socialize with people her own age? I guess my other worry would be would I be able to maintain the level of education that I was providing.

RedFred [home] 15.10.2004, 6:54pm

The social aspect is the thing that most people pick up on - but unless you live in the middle of no-where (where homeschooling is probably the only realistic choice anyway) there are always clubs and groups and things to join. School is a very un-natural form of socialisation; a whole load of kids, all pretty-much the same age, forced together whether they like each other or not.

Tim [home] 16.10.2004, 11:07pm

Homeschooling! How very right-wing of you. Not sure how it is there - but here in the states, homeschoolers are typically found in the Republican base. Well, that's mostly because many of the homeschoolers here are doing it for religious reasons - that could be it.

I homeschooled my son during middle school (6-8), now he's in highschool and going to public school and doing extremely well. I did it because I have little faith in the 20 year old kids who are charged with the task of helping form the minds of my kid. My son is not a conformist -- got into trouble because of stupid things (like not asking permission to go to the bathroom) . . and the whole middle school experience was more trouble that it was worth!

Good for you and your wife - - and best of luck with it!

Lisa [home] 19.10.2004, 2:47am


As you've pointed out when I've accused you of being more liberal than you make out, we don't all fit into neat little catagories ...

We look for material on the net a fair bit, and it's nearly all christian-based. Which is seriously annoying.

Tim [home] 19.10.2004, 10:48am

HA! Socialisation - grrrr! Compared with some of the utter, utter crap that kids in state schools have to put up with, having a few less buddies seems a fairly insignificant "problem". As Tim has already pointed out, one of the reasons we CHOSE to homeschool was to avoid things like bullying (I know, *sigh*, Rosie will grow up a wimp unless we allow her to be beaten up, picked on and have her lunch money nicked.....), and having to do demeaning things like asking to go to the loo! Just to illustrate this point, recently, a relative said that her son's class had a new teacher who had REFUSED (amongst other things) to allow two kids to go to the toilet (after they had requested "permission"!) - the kids then wet themselves and were probably deeply embaressed in front of the entire class. Dunno about you but refusing to allow a child to go to perform a basic bodily function with the result of causing them major humiliation is verging on abusive........

Sarah [home] 19.10.2004, 2:04pm

Sarah, first off, no need to get quite so defencive, I was raising a concern of mine not critisizing anyone. My neigbours home school their two children and two nicer girl you could not meet, but even according to thier mother they do not socialize very well with the other children they meet, they tend to prefer the company of adults. They took steps to change this, as it appears you suggest with clubs and such, but even still they are not as cofident in themselves as they would like. I think you pointing to few instances of extreme abuse by teachers is a bit of a knee jerk reaction, to suggest that forcing children to urinate on themselves is systemic is rather unbelievable.

I understand that you probably have recieved a lot of opposition to your decision to home school but please don't imagine critism when none is intended. My second point is also directly from my neighbour's mouth who says she struggles to keep one step ahead o her children with the work and often she is learning with them. That would concern me once the children are getting to the more advanced subject matter (her children are middle school age, 11 and 13) The eldest will be going to regular high school next year which must be a frightening thought, I remember my own system schooled daughter freaking out on her first day, do you intend to homeschool your children throughout their life or just to a certain level?

RedFred [home] 01.11.2004, 8:45pm

We haven't made any plans as to how long we will continue to do this - for as long as it "works" I suppose. Sarah (that's my wife, incase you hadn't worked it out!) gets annoyed about the socialisation thing because she has to take so much crap from other people about it (our daughter is confident and gets on well with both adults and children, but I guess that's just her personality anyway)

Tim [home] 01.11.2004, 9:51pm

Redfred, I wasn't suggesting that teachers routinely force kids to piss themselves (it was just a really good example of the sort of thing that happens that convinces Tim and I that we're doing the right thing by homeschooling. I don't think anything like this happened to me at school but Tim had a teacher who refused to let him out of the room when he was going to be sick and he threw up on his book .... urrrggh! hehehe!) Secondly, I think the socialization aspect of homeschooling is blown up out of proportion anyway. It really depends on the individual child - Rosie is extremely confident and get's on with just about everyone. Some other child might be less confident and thus might have a hard time being "sociable" no matter how many clubs/groups etc it was stuck into. That same child would probably be the poor little sod who (if they went to school), spent their breaktimes alone cause they were too shy to join in. At least in a homeschool setting, the parent can introduce the child to "social situations" at a pace that suits the child and build their confidence gradually.

Sarah [home] 02.11.2004, 10:46am

Not only that, but the teacher put my vomit-encrusted exercise book on a shelf to dry so I could continue using it .....

Tim [home] 02.11.2004, 11:23am

Fair comments, and I am pleased to hear that Rosie is well adjusted, probably a good reflection on her parents.

I still maintain that Socialization is an issue, but perhaps that is more of a factor that is based upon the parent(s) demeanor, at least partially. Personally I have always advocated the social aspect of going to school, all of my kids went to pre school Daycare for that socialization specifically, even though it was not necessary, but each to their own, I have always said that only a parent knows what is best for their child, and if you trust in your instincts you really can't make a mistake.

Incidentally, how old is Rosie (don't answer if you feel I am prying)

Redfred [home] 02.11.2004, 3:23pm

She's only 7 now, so things might change (with regard to her education) in a few years anyway - we've not set out any "master plan" or anything.

Tim [home] 02.11.2004, 3:36pm

The only experiance I have had that comes even close was that my parents took me out of school for 6 months when I was 10. We sold the house and car, my parents gave up work and we toured the US using backpacks and Greyhound bus tickets. We had very basic English and Maths work to do during the trip (mostly done on the bus) and of course a whole load od life experiance to write about in my jounal. I know my parents toom a load of crap for doing it but I turned out just fine, and far better off for the experiance. (and no I didn't have any socialization problems!!!!)

RedFred [home] 02.11.2004, 5:14pm

Why would you want to be socialized or force it on someone else anyway? Seriously, 'socilization' and being able to operate well in a social setting are not at all the same thing. Also, I see no problem at all with a child who prefers the company of adults. I did, so long as they were rational and 'adult' adults. The idea that children must act 'like kids' to be normal and then one day stop acting in this way in which you previously encouraged them to act is probably the cause of many a parent's problems.

Some One 17.09.2005, 10:36pm

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